What a refreshing day. Church, home – nothing else. Ahhh.
We needed it too. I spent all day Friday and Saturday down in Sacramento taking my Civil Engineering PE Exam. Friday was 2 4-hour sessions. Saturday was 2 2-1/2 hour sessions. Less time, but more intense because there just was not enough time to do all of the problems. I have no idea if I passed any part. I’ll find out in 13 weeks. Why it takes 13 weeks to score a Scantron test is beyond me, but there it is.
But I’m not here to write about that. I actually have felt a nudging for quite some time to write about money. Specifically our money situation. I’ve held off because I’m afraid that it’s impossible to do it right. You talk about this kind of thing and you’re either judged or seen as prideful or seen as asking for help or just complaining. While I am sure I’m guilty of all of those things to some extent, I hope this won’t be seen as that.
What it comes down to is this: We are in a world of hurt financially. Have been for a while.
God has been incredibly faithful in providing for us in the midst of it, and I haven’t blogged about any of it really. I believe that God will bring us through this time and I think He should get glory for that. The only way He will get that glory is if I share what He is doing, as He does it.
So here goes…
A few years ago, we were living in Lincoln in a smaller home. We had lots of equity. We had a decently sized 401k through HP. We put away money from every tax rebate into college accounts for the kids. I had a bunch of options from HP that were going up and up in value. Our credit score was good and we didn’t have a lot of debt. Yes – I was proud of all of it.
At the same time, we felt a lot of discontent with where we were living. A stirring that maybe it was finally time to try to get into the country. We had dreamed of it for 10 years of marriage and always held off, but it felt like it was maybe time to finally act. We agonized over whether to move to Modesto, or Colfax or stay near Lincoln. We spent hours discussing and weighing and coming up empty. Finally, we prayed and told God that we would go wherever He led, because we were completely stumped about where would be best. Shortly after praying that, we came out to look at this land. Call it what you will – we felt led by God. I believe we were.
So here we are, a few years later. House is built and I love it. I love the land and the wildlife and the quiet. I love the school our kids get to go to. I love our church.
But through a combination of the Lincoln house’s value tanking, my engineering work slowing way down and – I’m certain – dozens of bad financial decisions on my part, we are in a very different financial situation. Big mortgage. Mortgages on the Lincoln house that are significantly more than we were making for rent. Renters who will move out in a week, and a market that demands that we lower the rent another $200 per month if we expect to compete. Credit cards with high balances. 401k completely drained. Kids college funds completely drained (as of this past week). Taxes just completed that will require us to make payments to cover.
I have a day job now that is really amazing. I’m doing some consulting at night – as much as I can get and squeeze into the evening hours. But I’m still below what I was earning when we bought the land. Crazy, because I’m working so much harder than I’ve ever worked in my life.
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So there it is. I hesitate to post this because it’s a tough thing to share. But here’s the thing – I believe that God is going to provide. I don’t know how. We’ve been in this situation for a while though, and I’m am continually amazed by how God provides. Without fail, it’s in ways that I’m not expecting, and that I can take no credit for.
I’ve thought a lot this past year about how God fed the Israelites manna. It came daily and spoiled if they tried to collect enough for more than one day. What I want is a week’s worth of providence. What I’m getting is daily, which is requiring me to rely on God daily. My pride – even still – rebels against that. But I’m learning.
As I said, I’m sharing this hesitantly. I am not wanting sympathy, or advice, or anything. I want to put it out there so that when God provides, you can be amazed along with me.
I’ll keep you posted.